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neonfreon
User
589 Posts
A lot of you out there have probably noticed my recent posts discussing dead animals and wonder how you can get involved in the dead animal movement while it's still relatively young. Well, it's easy, and this post has all the information you need to get started.
First, let's go over the equipment you'll need for handling dead animals:
1. Pair of work gloves - preferably water resistant to prevent blood from soaking through to your hands.
2. Scissors - Sometimes it's useful to cut the animal's hide or flesh in order to gain access to parts of the animal that aren't normally accessible - don't use safety scissors, as they tend to jam when chunks of animal end up in their joints.
3. Camera - get a good one, make sure it has color balance features that will help bring out the blood in the photos of dead animals you take
4. Cooking equipment - this may be obvious, but when an animal is freshly dead (less than a few hours on a hot day), you can actually cook it and eat it. It would be wasteful to let animals that you could easily eat just rot. I recommend a coleman propane powered stove.
5. Forks and knives - after you cook your animal you'll want to eat it like a civilized human being. You'll need at least a fork and a knife - i prefer stainless steel as it doesn't tarnish, but you can use silver if you like.
6. Ladies - You'll want to bring a lady friend along. Ladies love animals and they love men that know how to work with animals. A man that knows animals, how to work with them, and how to cook them is basically what all ladies are looking for.
That's all you need, at least to get started! Look for more advanced topics in dead animal dealings on a semi-regular basis on this forum.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
What kind of dead are we talking about? Dead by your hands? Dead by natural causes? Dead by a car?
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neonfreon
User
589 Posts
Dearest Lola, as my dead great grandpa used to say, "Dead is dead."
But, it's interesting that you brought that up, because how an animal dies can greatly affect the flavor and texture of the end result. For example, an animal that is killed swiftly with no warning will be more tender and taste less gamey than ...
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Vassago
Administrator
2081 Posts
AHAHAHAHAHHA! This is the most entertaining stuff that I've read all day.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
Dear Neonfreon,
I would first like to state that I am a vegetarian for my own personal reasons. However, I am not an activist nor am I against the eating of animals.
On that note, in response to your ever amusing theory, I would like to look at this as a scientific expierment.
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
Forget all this hoopla... lets make out.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
I'm gay.....
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
I can't wait to report you.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
to whom?
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
Greg.... for all the douchbaggery.
ps... Calgary is going to be a trainwreck...im taking everybody down with me.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
Ok, Where we going?
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
On a terrible downward spiral of drunken humility.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
Sounds awful. When do we start?
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
As far as I know... its starting friday...and I will be leaving mondayish?
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Lola
User
958 Posts
Hmmm Mom's in town for the weekend. She likes taking care of me when I'm drunk though.
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
It's going to be dumb. Im coming home in a body bag.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
Send me an itinerary and contacts. I know Adam was talking about the Back Alley.
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
Yeah...from my understanding...back alley on friday...then saturday is sort of open...im going to the zoo with kipp...and then plan on drinking my face off at whatever place she works at....and the rest of the weekend is up to whoever. Im just there to get trashy and film things.
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Lola
User
958 Posts
Hmmm, well I may stop by the Back Alley after work on Friday, not sure yet.
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Guttermouth
User
303 Posts
I think I may film there too.
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spartacus
Administrator
1424 Posts
I hate the fucking back alley lol
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